Duct tape and motherhood

We've discovered over the past 7 months that being a homeowner is really great and really hard all at the same time. We've made a bunch of changes already, with many more on the way in the upcoming year. Well, today we found out that our A/C unit is so doggone old and in some places held together by duct tape. And we need some serious duct work done (revisit the duct tape sentiment). And its going to be very expensive. And the timing is not great at all. (Must this happen right after Cyber Monday???) But you know all things considered, I'm actually handling it really well. And by handling it well, I mean that if you need me I'll be binge watching Gilmore Girls and eating cookie dough straight from the tub. (Not because I'm a mess, I just really love Gilmore Girls and cookie dough) This is my life. And you know what? I'm really happy. 

You guys. I have a great hubby that worked alllllllll day on Saturday making trips to the dump so we could get rid of a ton of bulky stuff that we don't use. And he helps with the dishes and let me buy shoes for myself for Christmas. Not one, but two pairs. AND he surprised me with a beautiful Christmas tree. A nine foot Christmas tree. It has two ornaments currently and I love it so much. 

And guys? I have a sweetpreciousangelbaby and he is a delight. He is the happiest, silliest, head-bobbyist boy in the world and I love him so much it hurts. Today I had dinner on the stove and he was playing in his highchair and chewing on a potholder and I just looked into his eyes and MAN. My mama heart just swelled. I was so proud of him. 

Today has been all about moments. So many moments. Moments I'm not going to get back. Moments I wish I could keep in a jar that I could open when I get sad and relive them again and again. So maaaaaany moments. Lovely moments. The conversation I had with our A/C repair tech as he worked on our unit. The look on Bubs' face when he scooted as fast as he could to the tree. The feeling that overtook me while Oh Holy Night was playing and I looked around at the simplicity of my lit up tree and felt serene and whole. 

This morning I started putting Bubby's baby pics and mementos in his album. As I turned the pages and looked at the first photographs of us meeting our guy, my eyes welled up with tears. That was the day that my life changed forever. All those feelings came rushing back. My nervousness over being a mommy (and the many "what ifs" that came along with it), the euphoria of holding my little one close as he slept on my chest...What a miracle! Motherhood is the greatest blessing in the whole wide world. I would not trade it for anything. I see now what my Mother meant when she said "You'll look down at your sweet little baby and think how did I ever live without you?"

*sigh*

But really. What did I do without him? I had so much time. And now I still have time, I just spend most of it trying so hard to soak it all in. Trying to take mental pictures. To help me remember the way his toes curl. And the sound of his snorts. And the cute little cooing noises he makes while I rock him before bed. And the way he says Dada all. Day. Long.

I am so incredibly grateful. My life is so good. 

XOXO,